What I’m trying to say is this: films about cats are more popular than films about dogs .
A survey by personalised gift company Petlandia has studied every movie that features either a cat or a dog since 1970. It’s found that films starring cats have generated $7,841,924,828 in revenue compared with the measly $6,556,609,118 generated by films starring dogs.I know what you’re thinking. “Those two figures are relatively close, which suggests that there isn’t really one runaway winner here,” you say, “and as such this is an opportunistic and poorly conceived survey to infinitesimally raise awareness about something as banal as a personalised pet gift service.”
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The survey also listed the genres people enjoy when it comes to films about cats or dogs. Animation is the favourite, which is bad news for horror fans, though, because horror is only the seventh most popular genre. The message – probably the most important message you’ll hear all week – is clear: cartoons about cats and/or dogs are much more popular than horror movies about cats and/or dogs.
Oh, and I meant to say, we finally have definitive evidence that brown animals are the best at generating box-office revenue. Thanks to Petlandia, we now know that brown animals have made $3,038,333,404 at the box office, which is a whole billion dollars more than their second-place rivals – gold-coloured animals.
What an exciting discovery! What a time to be alive! And what an inspiring message to aspiring film-makers: if you want to be popular, you should make a cartoon about a brown cat. That’s what we should be concentrating on now, cartoons about brown cats. Not anything else. Never anything else. Never anything else again.
Why do they do that? When dogs kick after going to the bathroom, they are using the scent glands on their paws to further mark their territory.