Julian Clary thanks the Queen for ‘one of the campest things ever’

 Julian Clary Sixty Seconds
Julian also reveals what it was like to meet Her Majesty (Picture: Rex)
Comedian turned children’s author Julian Clary, 63, on rescue dogs , why he knows that ghosts exist and meeting the Queen.

You’ve just written your sixth children’s book. How did you create your family The Bolds?

The idea started when I was a child, looking out of the window at my neighbours, imagining I was living next door to a family of wild animals. Then they started laughing and I thought, ‘They’re like hyenas!’

So many years later, when my agent said, ‘Why don’t you write a book for children?’ that story, which had been percolating in my mind since I was eight, came to fruition.

basic obedience training

The first Bold book was in 2015, and in this new one they’re going green and doing their best to save the planet. This one is like Gone With The Wind –
an awful lot happens!

Is it nerve-racking to write a book?

You can lose your nerve a bit but I never read back what I’ve already written untilI get to the very end. My current storyline involves a skunk, a fruit bat and an aardvark. It ends with a big party in Bushy Park, where all the characters from all the previous books turn up.
Julian Clary Sixty Seconds The Bolds
The Bolds first appeared on the literary scene in 2015 (Picture: Andersen Press Limited/Julian Clary)

It feels like a happy conclusion to the book series so I’ve put a stop to it for now. If I keep on, the children who read my books will go beyond the age of 10 or 11 and become too cynical or will be old enough to start sniffing glue.

Dogs do dream! Dogs and humans have the same type of slow wave sleep (SWS) and rapid eye movement (REM) and during this REM stage dogs can dream. The twitching and paw movements that occur during their sleep are signs that your pet is dreaming

Do you still have dogs?

I’ve always had a dog by my side all my adult life, even when I was 21 and going out all the time. My book, The Lick Of Love, is a memoir about all the dogs in my life and how each dog can enhance your life and also be a restraining influence too when you need it. For example, I got Valerie when I was about 40, so I’d been successful and I was overindulging in lots of things as people do – and Valerie was like a maiden aunt. She’d sit there with pursed lips if I had a third glass of sauvignon blanc, making it clear she did not approve.

Need Help Getting Your Dogs Urine Sample? Use a Ladle & Container. If you need to collect a urine sample check out this awesome $2 solution (a ladle & small containers) that makes it easy.

They were rescue dogs?

They’ve all been rescue dogs. Six months after Fanny The Wonder Dog died, I was telling someone how I wanted a whippet crossbreed. I was filming and the driver of the Winnebago overheard and said, ‘I know there’s a dog in Clapham who needs a new home,’ so after filming finished he drove me to Clapham and there she was. It was meant to be.

It must have been tough when she died…

It is awful when you lose a dog but dogs teach you about grief and how to cope with it and when the time came for Valerie it was such a kind thing to do to be able to let her go.

For Safety Keep Your Dog Restrained in the Car. I know that dogs love sticking their head out car windows – but it’s a dangerous habit. They’re at risk for being hit with debris, damaging their ears & there’s always the risk that they’ll see something & jump out. If you’re going to be driving over 20 mph it’s always recommended to have your dog restrained in the car.

Gosh, I’m sorry, Julian. Hope this isn’t upsetting you…

Yes, our conversation has taken a dark turn, hasn’t it? Perhaps you should rename this Page 60 Seconds Of Misery!

BGUK_2156643 - London, UNITED KINGDOM - Celebrities Bill Bailey, Linda Robson and Scarlett Moffatt head down to Proud Embankment to watch British comedy icon Julian Clary???s triumphant opening night in Cabaret All Stars Pictured: Julian Clary BACKGRID UK 25 JUNE 2021 BYLINE MUST READ: BDC Images / BACKGRID UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com *UK Clients - Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
Julian gets quite paternal around Pride time, hoping that everyone has a toilet to use and a way of getting home safely (Picture: BDC Images/BACKGRID)

You lived in a haunted house. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes, I moved into Noël Coward’s old house and it was alive with very benevolent ghosts. They were having a laugh – they weren’t out to get you like in the films. Paintings would fall off the walls, there were certain smells and awareness of a presence.

Watch Out For Your Dogs Feet in the Summer. Hot pavement can burn your dogs paws rather quickly. To see if it’s too hot for your dog place the back of your hand on the pavement – if you can’t hold it there for 5 seconds it’s too hot for your dog. On really hot days consider walking your dog in the woods, on the grass, or waiting til the sun goes down.

Once they get used to you, they accept you. When I first moved into my current Georgian house, I would hear footsteps, as if children were running upstairs. It turns out the house used to be flats.

So it’s the Jubilee. Are you putting bunting up?

It’s quite a thing, isn’t it? And you can’t help but be full of admiration for the Queen’s dedication. She’s so sweet now too, you just feel protective towards her.

It’s also wonderful that you don’t know if she’s going to turn up anywhere until the last moment. She has the option to duck out now so there’s all the thrill of ‘will she, won’t she?’

This softens the kibble and makes the food much easier to chew.

When she turned up in yellow to open the Elizabeth line it created a kind of euphoria and I love the campness of it all – the carriages and the waving. When the Queen sent the crown to the Houses of Parliament in a car with a whole procession, I loved it, it was one of the campest things you’re ever likely to see.
Britain???s Queen Elizabeth unveils a plaque to mark the completion of the Elizabeth Line at Paddington Station in London, Britain, May 17, 2022. RUTERS/Toby Melville
Julian was a fan of the rush of campness generated when the Queen visited the Elizabeth Line (Picture: Reuters)

Have you ever met any members of the royal family?

I’ve met the Queen before after a performance. She just shook my hand and looked at me with her piercing eyes and her very knowing expression, andI shook her gloved hand, but she chose not to speak to me – she moved on to Frankie Dettori, who was next to me, because she was probably keen to talk to him about horses.

Use baking soda to get dog urine out of carpet. If you don't happen to have a product like Nature's Miracle on hand (maybe you're traveling or at a friends house), pour some baking soda over the spot, let it sit, and then sweep or vacuum it up.

Is it scary meeting the Queen?

It’s really nerve-racking. You’re worried you’re going to having a moment of incontinence and really embarrass yourself. But she’s the most famous woman in the world and although she has that effect on people, she does know how to put them at their ease.

Do you still enjoy Pride month, which starts today?

It’s very full-on these days. I was doing a Pride gig in Soho pre-pandemic andI was amazed there were thousands of people all the worse for wear.

Many dogs have a condition nicknamed “Frito Feet,” in which their feet smell little bit like corn chips. As Matt Soniak wrote in a Big Question on this site, this has to do with the kind of bacteria found on a pup’s feet, and “could be due to yeast or Proteus bacteria. Both are known for their sweet, corn tortilla–like smell. Or it could be Pseudomonas bacteria, which smell a little fruitier—but pretty close to popcorn to most noses.”

I kept thinking, ‘Where are they going to go to the toilet and how are they going to get home?’ I become all paternal.

The Bolds Go Green (Andersen Press) by Julian Clary is out tomorrow.