A woman has advertised for a new owner for a chihuahua she’s fostering, describing him as ‘neurotic’ and ‘demonic’ in an extremely honest social media post.Tyfanee Fortuna, from New Jersey, posted on Facebook about two-year-old Prancer, saying she’d tried to make the dog sound ‘palatable’, but ‘the problem is, he’s just not.’ She went on to say ‘Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home..’ Listing Prancer’s bad traits, she said he looks like a ‘gremlin’, and that he’s ‘50% hate and 50% tremble’. Tyfanee added that his demeanour was probably due to his former owner, who would feed him human food and dress him in clothes, giving him something of a god complex.
Prancer has refused to bond with Tyfanee’s male partner, and is intent on protecting the women he does bond with from other men, pets, and anything else that comes their way.
‘He hates men more than women do, which says a lot. If you have a husband don’t bother applying, unless you hate him,’ Tyfanee said.
‘Have other dogs? Cats? Don’t apply unless they like being shaken up like a ragdoll by a 13lb rage machine.’Although it might seem like a harsh description, there are some good points listed about Prancer.
Focus on the Human-Animal Bond. “Dogs and cats have broken down the walls of our hearts. There haven’t been comparable domesticated species in 5,000 years.” For Dr. Becker, it’s clear that pets and people have evolved to benefit each other. He explains, “When you’re petting them, you both get this massive release of oxytocin, prolactin, dopamine, and a decrease in cortisol. It’s a reciprocal biochemical spa treatment.” As they age, it can be easy to take pets for granted. Make time for a little human-animal bonding every day.
Tyfanee’s post reads: ‘He is loyal beyond belief, although to tell you a secret his complex is really just a facade for his fear.
‘If someone tried to kill you I can guarantee he would run away screeching. But as far as companionship, you will never be alone again.’
According to the owner, ‘His ideal home would be with a single woman, a mother and daughter, or a lesbian couple.’
Even someone who lives in a flat wouldn’t be suitable, because there’s every chance Prancer will ‘ankle bite’ neighbours and needs a separate room he can go when guests come over.
‘If you’ve always wanted your own haunted Victorian child in the body of a small dog that hates men and children, please email [email protected].
‘Oh, also he’s only 2yrs old and will probably live to be 21 through pure spite, so take that into account if you’re interested,’ Tyfanee concluded.
And despite him being on the business end of a comedy roast, Prancer has still captured people’s hearts.
‘I love him and wish he was mine,’ said one commenter to the post, which now has over 45,000 liked.
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‘Stop this sounds like my dream dog,’ said another.
‘You’re amazing. I hope this goes viral and you find the perfect home for Prancer,’ one said.
It was a bold strategy on Tyfanee’s part, but hopefully someone who needs a little chaotic energy in their life will love being protected by this pocket rocket pup.
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