I held him close to my heart. A bundle of softness and warmth. I could hear his heart beat fast. I had separated him from his mother. I felt a deep sense of guilt, but at the same time, I wanted to experience motherhood once again. Yes, I had yearned to hold this bundle of joy since a very long time.
It was the night of May 28, 2013. I had managed to convince my husband about my strong desire to adopt a puppy. I wanted someone to love and cuddle. “Adopt a puppy, mama,” was what my daughter had told me when she went for her higher studies.
We decided to call him Nicco, short for Nicholas. Nicco got a home. He was turning out to be a naughty little puppy. He started growing very fast. People feared him. We could take him out for his walks only if he had a muzzle on his mouth. Every single furniture has signs of assault of Nicco’s teething period, not to forget the scratch marks left on our hands and legs. He kept pooing and peeing at every nook and corner of the house. I kept cleaning them round the clock. Our mornings would begin with the wake-up call from Nicco.
Slowly, we started feeling tired and exhausted coping with his untiring energy and strength. I perpetually kept running after him with a cane. Every time I scolded and screamed at him for his pranks, he would look at me with innocent eyes and try to hide under the table owning up his mistakes. Next moment he would be back to his naughty self once again. As months passed by Nicco started becoming a cause of worry and seemed like a burden. Would we be able to handle his immense strength? Would guests stop visiting us? Suddenly, we wanted our freedom back. Every day seemed like an ordeal…
After much discussion, we put up an advertisement for free adoption on the net. ”Someone who is a genuine dog lover and wants to adopt a dog may contact us.” Within a few days we got a positive response. D-Day approached. It was the Annual Day in my school. I chose that day because I would not be home to face the pain of separation. As I was about to leave, I stepped back once again and said a silent prayer in my puja room.
I started driving down to school. It was drizzling… I saw a lonely soul in one corner of the street shivering in cold. My thoughts went back to Nicco. Tears welled up in my eyes. What if Nicco also met with the same destiny? The entire day I felt restless. My thoughts kept revolving around the little bundle of joy. I felt like a criminal. How could a mother commit this crime of separating her child from herself? “Oh God, please forgive me!”
I pressed the doorbell. I knew no one would come to greet me, jump on me and lick me. I closed my eyes for a moment… and lo and behold, I felt a soft tickling sensation on my face. Nicco was there right in front of me, loving me unconditionally. My husband stood there smiling at me. “How could we ever think of doing this? He’s our child, a part of our life!” I hugged him and ran towards my temple. God had answered my prayers.
My dearest Shih-tzus
You came in my life
when I needed you the most,
Oh my dearest Shih-tzus,
Your love filled my life which I can boast,
Cheering Fluffy and Angel, raising a toast,
Both in my arms, while writing this post...
–Swapnali H Kawale
End of the article
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