My children have blind parents, but we're still a normal family

Hetal and her family
My world consists of my husband, William, our little boy, Jordan, six, and girl, Nikyta, two and a half, and our two guide dogs (Picture: Hetal Bapodra)

As a blind mum I am always being asked ‘how do you manage?’.

The real truth is the same as for most parents – a little bit of organisation, a bag full of food and drink, and mostly just winging it.

My world consists of my husband, William, our little boy, Jordan, six, and girl, Nikyta, two and a half, and our two guide dogs.

I have been a guide dog owner now for exactly 10 years, my husband for longer.

Both of us have been blind for most of our lives; I was born severely premature and lost my sight a few days after birth, so it’s all I’ve ever known.

William and I met at a residential college for the blind, and married in 2011. We both wanted a family – there was never any question that we wouldn’t try and face up to the challenges as they came.

Before my son was born I made it my mission to find out the safest and easiest way of getting out and about with a tiny baby.

I knew it would be too easy for me to sit at home and not go anywhere or do anything if I didn’t put a plan in place.

Guide dogs are trained to work in front of their owner and so pushing a buggy in the traditional way wasn’t an option for me. But I am a fiercely independent person, so I needed to know I would be able to manage on my own.

Learn to read your dogs body language. Since no dog I know of is able to mosey up to the kitchen table, pour himself a cup of coffee, and confess to all of the things that annoy, frighten, and stress him out, I suggest that the next best thing is to learn to read your dog’s many signals and body language. This is how your dog will communicate with you.

Hetal with her baby
(Picture: Hetal Bapodra)

I settled on having a sling and finding a buggy that I could pull behind me – and just got on with it.

Over the years I’ve gone from a baby and a guide dog to two children and a guide dog – which is a lot more complicated. Jordan might have his scooter too, and Nikyta will be chattering away. It’s a lot to think about.

Even with my guide dog I must still know where I am in my route and when we will be coming up to a crossing or steps.

A member of the public started talking to my guide dog and disrupted her concentration. I often equate this to someone putting their hands over a driver’s eyes when they are in the car with their family.

Mobility with a dog or a cane is a very intense process because you are constantly listening – to your environment, to your children and to the people around you.

Can you imagine then how difficult it is managing all of that with someone coming up and distracting your dog, the very thing that keeps you and your family safe?

I will say this now: it is never OK to distract a working guide dog.

It doesn’t matter how cute they look, or whether they are just sitting at a bus stop or crossing.

They are trained to a very high standard, but at the end of the day they are still dogs and will respond to people talking to and touching them.

Your dog needs his own cozy spot as well, preferably a crate, a comfy bed that’s his alone and a selection of appropriate toys.

I have been at the receiving end of this many times, and it often jeopardises not only my safety, but my children’s, too.

One very memorable experience was when I was trying to cross the road with my son and daughter, all of us holding hands in a chain.

A member of the public started talking to my guide dog and disrupted her concentration. I often equate this to someone putting their hands over a driver’s eyes when they are in the car with their family.

I’ve taken a proactive approach throughout my time as mum, always trying to think ahead.

With both of the adults in our house unable to see, we have to take extra steps to make sure the children are safe. I have gates across the kitchen for when I’m cooking tea, and I’m much more cautious with illnesses.

Jordan and Nikyta both know to be vocal and chatty, and understand why mummy and daddy don’t drive.

But it is extremely important to me that my children are able to be children. I read Braille storybooks to them and let run them about in the park and we do all sorts of activities as a family.

The cheese will melt just enough to stick to the inside of the Kong.

Most of all, I hope they feel no responsibility for their own safety bar an age-appropriate understanding. And they certainly don’t have to worry about me.

Contrary to what some people believe, my children are not and will not be my carers. My son is often told he’s a good boy for looking after his mum, which really stings.

In reality, we’re a normal family – just with a different way of doing things.

Hetal, 33, shares the ups and downs of parenting with celebrity mum Alex Jones and paralympian mum-to-be Libby Clegg MBE as part of Guide Dogs’ new podcast series.